Murphy's law teaches us only one thing. Couples should discuss topics that can go south before they occur. Marriage is a fortress; its stability depends on how much attention you devote while building its base. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, that’s why you should discuss this topic on time; it might spare you of nerve-wracking situations in marriage.
Finances and money investments
Math and love don’t get along. Falling in love is something utterly irrational, and it should stay that way. No one ever said, I might spend my life with this person”, it just happens, like a bolt from the blue, without thinking you are already wearing a ring. But there should be a place for numbers in marriage. Even for little things like groceries, double companions should be equally involved. It allows marriage to be founded on confidence and trust. Long-term financial planning is of particular importance because it ensures the intentions of the spouse and strengthens a marriage. The less concern you get, the more, you will enjoy your marriage, and it will be easier to overcome other problems.
Sex life
Determine your sex life. Be clear how often would you like to have sex. I get it; everything works fine, sex is great, and you are deeply in love, you apparently think, why should I discuss something which is already perfect? In fact, if you want it to stay like that, it is important to start talking about sex life so you can prevent potential problems that might be just around the corner. The downfall of passion is waiting for you, and, sooner or later, it will happen. This is normal, but it won’t seem so if you don’t discuss it before it happens. A possible outcome is that your partner may start to doubt you, it is almost inevitable. This can be a cause for major problems in a marriage. Feel free to talk through every possible situation that crosses your mind.
Spirituality
You might end up in a relationship with a person that doesn't share your beliefs. No one expects big changes or surprises in this area after going to the registrar. Let’s say I’m a deeply religious person, but my wife is an atheist. That’s all right, I respect her views and beliefs, and she respects mine. But when children come along, you might face a situation where neither of you knows how to educate them. How do you make a compromise when things are opposed? A solution to this problem might be expressing both sides’ attitudes to the children as they grow so they can decide what is better for them. You may be lucky with a partner who is not stubborn, but imagine all this with a person who doesn’t want to make concessions. This could put marriage into question.
Career goals and aspirations
People should always think about getting married if they tend to pursue higher education and job success. We are living in modern society, and the “housewife norm” in traditional families is a thing of the past. On the other side, our reproductive organs are still same. There is no such a thing as accelerated pregnancy, and that won’t exist anytime soon, so partners should be aware of each other's plans in their professional lives. Different attitudes about having kids may be a great destruction force that can threaten a marriage, so it’s better to talk about that before it's too late, but not too early and not on a first date.
In-laws issues and influence of other people
This part should be simple, it’s your marriage, your story, and it should be without external influences, but reality is something else, other people will try to shape your marriage. Newlyweds will always have a strong bond with their parents and friends, that's normal, but there should be boundaries when it comes to your partnership. Each decision should be made by the spouses and their agreement. It is critical to envisage this before you drop the anchor. Involvement of other persons increases the chance of an unstable marriage.
Many other things are important to discuss before you lead your darling to the altar but from my experience, this are most important
So what is a monogamer? That is someone who is always in long term relationships. My younger sister is a monogamer. It is rare that she is out of a relationship for a long period of time. She likes being in relationships and so does my fiance. When I met "The Comedian", I wondered what made me different from the other relationships he had in the past. Would I be another long term relationship that would lead to eventual heartbreak? I think my honesty upfront cleared up a lot of questions. I would not be in a relationship unless I knew it was going to be something real. There was something very different about "The Comedian" and there were other things that kind of put us together like the law of attraction.
I'm not sure how a monogamer and a commitaphobe got together but it works. He pulls the best out of me and I do all that I can to learn to be vulnerable. I know he loves me for my heart and the ability to continue to grow with him. I made a decision that if I was going to really find love, I would have to let go and that's exactly what I did.
