We're Engaged!!!

It finally happened!  The Comedian and I are engaged.  All is good in the world.  I know that I am about two weeks late on sharing this news with the world other than my friends and family and social media followers but I digress… I won’t lie and say I didn’t see it coming, however, I did not know the details of what the Comedian was planning.  The moment I knew something was awry was when he asked me which bowtie he should wear.  Normally, he does put on a bowtie unless we’re headed to a wedding or something similar.

After getting all dolled up, we were on our way.  The Comedian said we would stop to just take a walk for a little bit.  Needless to say, I was starving so deep down inside, I was thinking to myself that I didn’t want to keep my hopes up and imagine that we were sincerely out to dinner after our excursion.  He parked at our favorite park, Cranes Roost, which happened to be under construction.  I was a little saddened by that because it’s such a great park and I was looking forward to stroll.

The Comedian then lead me towards a little area in front of the lake right in front of a wedding party taking pictures at the same time.  (How serendipitous, no?)  He held my two hands, looked into my eyes, and then started his speech.  At that time, I’m screaming in my head, OMG IT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!  He goes on to express that I will never know how much he loves me (my heart beats even faster) then he gets down on one knee and asks, “Will you marry me?”  Naturally, I burst into tears and just kept repeating the word “yes”.  He gets up and we share salty kisses due to my inability to stop crying.

Then the Comedian takes me back to the car, tells me to put my purse in the trunk, I sit in the passenger side and he blindfolds me.  At this moment, I’m thinking to myself, “Oh we’re going to his parent’s house”.  I’m only ticked off because he tells me that traditionally there’s something else we do and that would be the only thing that crossed my mind.  Imagine, a woman in the front seat of a car with a blindfold on?  It was definitely a bit of a spectacle considering the Comedian kept telling me that other drivers were looking suspicious when they took a glance into our car.

We finally arrive at our destination, the Comedian rolls down his window and someone screams, “Is that you, Gio?”  I thought, “Hold on a second, who is that?”  We get out of the car and the Comedian tries to guide me to the door, while blindfolded.  Needless to say, we walked through the grass and I was wearing heels.  It was an accident waiting to happen but I made it without a twisted ankle.  We stopped, he took off my blindfold and everyone one yelled, “Surprise!” Over 60 of our closest friends and family were at the Comedian’s parent’s house for a surprise engagement party.  I was consumed with love and tears.  I couldn’t believe he planned all of this without me knowing.  It was absolutely incredible.  There are no words to describe how I was feeling at that moment.  Just wow…

So you ask, “What is it like now that I’m engaged?”  I will tell you, it is a bit relieving in the sense that we have grown so much as a couple and it has made it to this milestone in our relationship.  I spoke to some friends of mine who have known me for a while and they are just sincerely happy.  After all of the bad date stories, mediocre boyfriends, and so many other hurdles, I have finally found my prince charming.  I am utterly on cloud 9.  The Comedian has been an amazing person to learn and grow with.  I am just honored that we get to continue to grow for many, many years to come.

Here are some more pictures from that day...

The Fall Air

Something about fall always brings back all kinds of memories. The smell of the air changes, even in Florida. There is something reminiscent of the holidays. I can't necessarily put my finger on it but normally I change, my emotions change. When I went away for college, I struggled with being separated from all that I knew. I put up a big wall saying that I could handle it because I'm a military brat, however, I really didn't understand that I needed the norm of my family life to bring me back to the ground. There were a lot of changes going on during that time of my life. My mom remarried, my sister moved away with her boyfriend at the time, and I didn't have the relationship I wanted with my father. I was struggling to find myself in a new world. For whatever reason I fell into a depression. After becoming suicidal, I went to counseling. He then diagnosed me with seasonal depression meaning that only during a certain time of the year, I became depressed. This was only the first occurrence.

Year after year, I would suffer a darkness during the fall. I wanted to be part of a family, I wanted a sense of normalcy, in my eyes. I tell you, there is nothing like wishing you had somewhere to celebrate where you felt accepted. I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family. I was so lost and incomplete. Instead of smelling the fall air, I would want to sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. It was safer in my dark room.

Through the years, I became better at dealing with this darkness during the fall. It even skipped a few years until last year. It came back. The feeling of being alone. I couldn't look at anyone without breaking down and wanting to cry. There was no one there to save me until I saw The Secret. There was so much hope in that message. Hope that I didn't need a family to make me happy, I was already part of one. I was alienating myself because it was all about me. I finally opened my eyes and saw that what you bring to yourself is what you have. I am wealthy through my friends and family. Also, I learned you are NEVER alone. God has always and will always be there. He will be your family, your friend and most of you, your father.

There is no point in living in this world in a negative light. Everyone has their own personal drama to deal with. Everyone has a story. As I always say, what makes you who you are is not what you've been through but how you deal with it.

To Be Puerto Rican...

Growing up, I struggled with self image.  I was born to a father in the military who was stationed in Germany and both of my parents were Puerto Rican.  On the military bases, there was a community of Puerto Ricans who got together to do parrandas, a caroling tradition in Puerto Rico, during Christmas time and spoke Spanish.  My dad sang and played guitar while others played the güiro and slapped the tambour.  That's what I knew in my younger years.  I mean, there were other cultures in the community but I didn't feel any prejudice.  There were Asians, Blacks, Whites and Hispanics all throughout the community and I didn't recall being told I was different because of the color of my skin.  I guess that's what it is to be a military brat.  Just knowing there is going to be all kinds of culture around you. When I moved to Florida,  things were very different.  Orlando is permeated with Puerto Ricans either the island of Puerto Rico, Chicago, or New York.  I was not from any of those places.  It was strange because I was either not Puerto Rican enough or I didn't come from New York so I didn't fit in.  Throughout middle and high school, I struggled with who I really was.  I spoke English really well so to the Puerto Ricans I was too "White" and to the everyone else I was too brown.  None of it made any sense.

Finally, when I got to college.  I threw aside what I was defined to be during my high school years.  I decided to be myself and learn what I could about my culture.  I did enjoy reggaeton but I wanted to know the history of Puerto Rico.  I wanted to speak better Spanish to understand my relatives.  I wanted to learn how to dance salsa, merengue, and cha cha.  And that's what I did.

I became President of the Puerto Rican organization on campus and through planning events, I learned about things I didn't even know.  I learned about bomba and plena, African dances from Puerto Rico's history.  I understood the battle for independence from the Grito de Lares and how Lares has amazing flavors in ice cream like corn and rice and beans...ha!  I also decided to make a conscious effort to visit my family in Puerto Rico at least every two years.

The most important lesson out of all of this is that no one can define who you are.  I embrace my culture through it's history, the beautiful land and beaches, and through my family.  I believe all cultures have their beauty.  However, I am Puerto Rican and no one can take that away from me.