Holiday Gift Ideas for Your Significant Other

Yesterday, I put out a survey on Facebook to ask what people would want their significant other to get them for the holidays. The main consensus I got was that you should really know the person you are in a relationship with. Many of the people responded to receiving gifts that were very personal. If you're still stumped, here are some tips for getting the right gift for that special person in your life.

Gift ideas for the adventurer

Some of us have the wanderlust bug. What would mean more to a person who has a sense of adventure is to plan a getaway to have somewhere they have been hinting. I love to travel so really a trip anywhere outside of my house is ideal. For someone that is more romantic, plan a staycation in your hometown at a beautiful resort where you can lay in bed all day and get massages. For someone who is a little more adventurous, plan a small trip to the mountains to go hiking or by the ocean for a peaceful weekend away.

There is room in your budget for even the smallest trips. Seeking adventure does not have to cost an arm and a leg. It's really the thought that counts. If you need help planning a trip away from home, check out this website Great Value Vacations.

If you have young kids at home, get a babysitter and take your husband or wife for a night on the town.

Gift ideas for the tech geek

These gifts also work well for those who like to be super organized. Courtesy of the Comedian, he feels anyone involved with tech would like to get their wires in order.

The Grid-It Organizer has always been a lifesaver on trips. Usually, the Comedian organized all of our chargers for our phones, laptops, Chromecast, and other things a tech person might need to keep handy.

Along with the organizer, we usually carry an Anker 6-Port USB charger. Instead of having ten power blocks for your different phones, we only have this one charger that we plug all of our devices into. When you're traveling, you could be limited to the number of plugs in your hotel room or space in your bag. Using these two tools help.

If you have a bigger budget, then obviously you can get even more elaborate. The Comedian usually drops hints on the things he wants. Next is a 4K TV but that's not in the budget for this year. I always make sure to check out CNet before buying anything tech related. If your SO knows their stuff, they can smell an imposter from a mile away. You'll want to do your research, check reviews, and make sure you are getting the best gift for your budget.

Gift ideas for the fashionista

Many of my friends are makeup lovers. They invest hundreds of dollars in good quality eyeshadow, blush, eyebrow pencils, and more. If you're a guy and this is not your wheelhouse, it is probably best to stay away from trying to buy makeup for that special lady in your life. This goes the same for shoes and shopping. Pay attention to what your SO is saying especially around the holidays.

I like to keep a special section in my Evernote about the things I would want to buy for my significant other. If you're not sure about your girlfriend or wife's size, don't buy anything clothing related. Trust me. You'll avoid an awkward conversation. Keep it safe and buy a classic piece of jewelry like a solitaire necklace, diamond earrings, or a nice watch. In all honesty, you can never really go wrong with a beautiful piece of jewelry.

Gift ideas for the person who has everything

Sometimes I find myself at a loss. I know my husband well enough to know he needs socks, undershirts, or random stuff for his office but I feel that lacks personalization. If you're like me and you want to get your significant other something different, something special, or something out of the ordinary. Give them an experience. Once my cousin's girlfriend gifted a day in his dream car. I don't recall the car, but it was about the experience rather than a physical gift.

Another idea if someone is a sports enthusiast, get them tickets to watch their favorite team, or make a trip out of it by taking them away for a weekend to watch a game. I know I would love some tickets to a New York Giants or Florida Gators game. Shoot... I haven't been to Gainesville, Florida in years!

Etsy has tons of personalized, handmade items that make any gift extra special. Be sure to read the reviews of those who have previously bought items. I'm a review reading maniac, and I haven't been unsatisfied with anything I bought on Etsy so far.

My overall point is to pay attention. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is a sneakerhead, then they'll want sneakers. If they like comedy, get them tickets to see their favorite comedian perform. The consensus I got from they survey online is gifting an experience is much more impressive than a physical gift.

If you need direction on what to get your loved one for the holidays, feel free to reach out to me at val@valsbytes.com.

Happy shopping!!

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Is it Too Early to Bring My SO to Meet My Family?

It's official! You've been cuffed.  After dating some great ones and some bums, you have finally locked yourself down into a relationship.  Congrats! Now that the holidays are here, you start asking yourself whether it's too early to bring your new beau to meet your family. Is it too early for your significant other to meet them?

Before making your final decision, bring out your yellow legal pad and make a pros and cons list based on the following questions you should ask yourself.

Know your audience

One of the scariest things to do is think about the potential political conversation that could happen at the table. Your new lover is likely to be in the middle of the argument of the year about the latest health coverage changes, and there is nothing you can do about it. They are your family, and they say things because they are comfortable with their opinions.

Your abuelita (grandmother) will possibly say something way too premature for your new relationship, causing you to worry whether you jumped the boat. Is your SO the type of person who can handle a little bit of adversity?

If you can envision your SO being comfortable with any situation that involves your family, then take it as a good sign. Keep an eye on them during some stressful situations and conversations in your day to day life. Or give him a heads up on your family dynamic. When you see they aren't even phased by what you consider to be crazy, you've got a good one. Don't let him or her go!

Trust me. I've been there. I remember someone in particular who I wasn't exactly proud to bring around my friends and family. Cowboy boots and a gold grill come to mind. He was SOOOO not my type so I kept him hidden because I knew that I would receive some backlash from those who loved me most. Which goes to my next point.

Define your relationship

Whether you're a guy or gal, cuffing season is an interesting time of the year. People get into relationships to stay warm for the winter but if you intend to keep them through the colder months then drop them like a bad habit right before Valentine's Day, then maybe you shouldn't introduce them to your family. First, it will give both your SO and your family false hope that you finally found someone serious. Second, it's messy. Don't bring them to a holiday party if they are only intended to be a winter fling.

If you feel this is something that will last, and you can be with this person for long-term, then yes, introduce them to your family. They are already dying to meet the person that makes you smile when you say their name.

Is it the right time?

Maybe you have only been dating for a few weeks or even a few months. The length of the relationship doesn't really matter. It's how you feel on the inside. A good friend once told me,

When you know, you know

And as dumb as it might sound to you right now because you don't think that way, trust me, it's true. There's just something about your SO that's different than the others. It feels different, and it feels right.

The holidays are a social season. I personally see my family more this time of the year than any other. If you're the same and you want to show off your newest relationship, think about all of the scenarios before bringing them in front of the firing squad. After asking yourself all of these questions and you don't see any red flags then get your SO prepared for the time of their life because they are about to make a first impression on your loved ones.

Is it Rabbit Season? No, it's Cuffing Season

For the past few weeks, I've been mentioning cuffing season on social media and to my friends. It's not a surprise that most of you don't know what it is since it's a fairly new phrase. No worries, I'm here to save you from wracking your brain and sleepless nights. I heard this phrase a  few years ago, right around the time I got engaged to The Comedian. I thought it was a phenomenon only related to engagements, but that's not entirely true. It really has to do with what this time of the year does to people. From November to February, men are 15% more likely to end up in a relationship.

What is cuffing season?

I can't think of why the word "cuff" was used to describe what's going on during the winter months. I wish maybe cuddling season caught on but whoever punned the phrase made it stick. Experts tell us this is something that has been going on for years, but now we can put a name to it.

Ask Men asked relationship expert, psychologist, and CEO of the matchmaking service, Lasting Connections, Sameera Sullivan, for some insight:

“Cuffing season is that period of time between fall and the dead of winter when people start looking for someone they can spend those long, frigid months with,” says Sullivan.

The season is all about bringing people together, and that includes keeping each other warm. I also think that some people want to avoid the dreaded question from their grandmother who always asks when they plan on getting married. Trust, I've been there. Unfortunately, now they are asking when we are planning to have kids. I just take a sip of wine and walk away.

It's hard to be alone during the winter. You see all of your friends buying presents for their significant others, and they all have a date for New Years. I can see how having someone by your side, even temporarily, is a quick fix.

Beware of serial cuffers

Don't start throwing away all of your granny panties yet. Some men and women are serial cuffers meaning they grab a lover for the season then conveniently break up with them around Valentine's Day. First, there's something about that day that means you're in it for the long haul and second, its right before Spring Break. Who wants to be tied down at the beach?

Beware of those guys who say, you're different and keep you at arm's length. Be sure to ask about their dating past to see where you stand. With the dying hook up culture, cuffing season is a way back to chivalry where people are spending more time with each other than their Tinder app. It could be the hot cocoa and the fireplace that's creating this change, but that sounds like a fantastic time to me.

How do I get cuffed?

The colder winter months are a perfect time for someone who is sick of casual dating to settle down. I always tell those that I'm counseling that first, you have to be in the right mindset before leaving the single scene behind. If you want to be in a relationship, picture yourself in a relationship, and act as if you are in one as well. Putting that mindset in the air will make it more likely for it to happen.

Also, understand what kind of partner you want. Print out this Dating Terms worksheet to help you narrow down to the five traits that you must have in a partner.

When you get that figured out, get on a website with more serious candidates. I may be biased, but Match.com is my personal favorite (maybe because that's where I met The Comedian). Or get out of your house and start socializing. The world has a funny way of putting things together when the timing is right.

If you need any guidance during cuffing season, feel free to contact me here. I will be more than happy to guide you on your way to happiness.

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The Fall Air

Something about fall always brings back all kinds of memories. The smell of the air changes, even in Florida. There is something reminiscent of the holidays. I can't necessarily put my finger on it but normally I change, my emotions change. When I went away for college, I struggled with being separated from all that I knew. I put up a big wall saying that I could handle it because I'm a military brat, however, I really didn't understand that I needed the norm of my family life to bring me back to the ground. There were a lot of changes going on during that time of my life. My mom remarried, my sister moved away with her boyfriend at the time, and I didn't have the relationship I wanted with my father. I was struggling to find myself in a new world. For whatever reason I fell into a depression. After becoming suicidal, I went to counseling. He then diagnosed me with seasonal depression meaning that only during a certain time of the year, I became depressed. This was only the first occurrence.

Year after year, I would suffer a darkness during the fall. I wanted to be part of a family, I wanted a sense of normalcy, in my eyes. I tell you, there is nothing like wishing you had somewhere to celebrate where you felt accepted. I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family. I was so lost and incomplete. Instead of smelling the fall air, I would want to sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon. It was safer in my dark room.

Through the years, I became better at dealing with this darkness during the fall. It even skipped a few years until last year. It came back. The feeling of being alone. I couldn't look at anyone without breaking down and wanting to cry. There was no one there to save me until I saw The Secret. There was so much hope in that message. Hope that I didn't need a family to make me happy, I was already part of one. I was alienating myself because it was all about me. I finally opened my eyes and saw that what you bring to yourself is what you have. I am wealthy through my friends and family. Also, I learned you are NEVER alone. God has always and will always be there. He will be your family, your friend and most of you, your father.

There is no point in living in this world in a negative light. Everyone has their own personal drama to deal with. Everyone has a story. As I always say, what makes you who you are is not what you've been through but how you deal with it.