What to Expect When... Getting Married

First and foremost, I have a couple of announcements.  The podcast is coming back!  After a year and a half in hibernation, I knew it was time to bring it back.  But this time, there will be a new format and a cohost.  I am super excited because we recorded some of the shows today and the banter is just fantastic.  Look out for the first episode this week. The other day, the comedian and I were talking about preparation for marriage.  When you buy a car or have a baby, some people take the time to do their research before finalizing on a decision.  Why don't we do that when we decide to get married?  I lucked out in the sense that the Comedian was extremely adamant about building a foundation before making any serious moves, like getting married or having children.  You can't fix a relationship that's already broken.

There are some people out there that believe a child can put a band-aid on a serious problem or that sex is the solution to avoiding a relationship.  It's kind of like alcoholism.  The problems just don't disappear because your mind is somewhere else.  They will be there when you get back.  I had a good friend of mine was going through a divorce and decided to move across the country from Orlando to LA in hopes that a change of scenery would bring him back to his usual self.  Unfortunately, it didn't.  He went into a little bit of a depression and decided to move back.  In reality, his support system was here in Orlando.  The people around him nursed him back to himself, and he was able to date again.

I'm not saying our system is perfect, but we can both say we know the other person well.  The Comedian promises he has more romantic gestures up his sleeves and those are the kinds of surprises I like.  There is a reason the court in Florida gives you a discount on your marriage certificate when you take a course before getting hitched.  Marriage is supposed to be forever.  That's what we all say in our vows.  Take the time to read some books together or try one of those "get to know you" questionnaires they have on Pinterest.  I've done a few of those with the Comedian early in our relationship.  I'll even add a link to a few for good measure.

Many of us women have this dream of finally being loved by our prince charming.  I know it's easier said than done but take the time out to get to know your prince before he becomes your King.  He could very well be a frog.

Here are some books to read together and links to those questionnaires I promised.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

100 Random Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

40 Personal Questions to Ask Your boyfriend

13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

No One Wants to Hear about a Happy Relationship

“No one wants to hear about a happy relationship.”  That’s the Comedian said after doing a bit on stage.  Before he told a joke, he would run it by me to ask whether it was okay.  I honestly didn’t mind.  I knew it was an exaggerated version of our reality.  Once, a woman pulled me to the side after he performed on stage and said, “You don’t have to let him talk about you like that.”

Sincerely, it was okay.  I had gotten comfortable with being the butt of 90% of his jokes.  In all seriousness, comedians talk about what they know, and if they spend most of their lives with you, then you will be the butt of their jokes.  I usually laugh it off and say “I signed up for this when I decided to date a comedian.”

It’s the same as being a dating blogger.  I spent countless hours talking about my latest conquests and how the majority of them went wrong.  Now, that I’m in a happy marriage with the comedian, I am scrambling for good material.  I have no issues talking about myself but who really wants to read about a happy relationship?

It’s true.  Most of us watch reality TV because we feel that if this rich person’s life is falling apart in front of us, then maybe we aren’t so bad. These past few weeks, a lot of people approach the Comedian and me and ask, “How’s married life?”

I sincerely don’t know how to answer.  It’s great.  Nothing has changed.  We are still two creative peas in a pod just trying to make our way in the world.  He’s the type of person who can make you laugh and the next hour has a serious conversation about the development of society.  It’s crazy to have found this combination in a person, but it works. Someone told me to

enjoy this time because you never know when things will change.

She is right.  I’ve seen my friends go through ups and downs in their marriages.  But the strong always prevail.  I admire the strength in understanding your partner, and when things get tough, they are really there for you.

The comedian even said in his vows that you need someone to grow with you and push you to be the best version of yourself.  I would like to challenge everyone to talk about their happy relationship.  It might make the idea of finding the right partner much less stressful.  He is out there.

On a side note... our wedding video is out!

I hope you enjoy!

https://vimeo.com/191169594

You're going to rue the day... You started my dream

I’ll be completely transparent, I was let go from my 9-5 job on Monday. Most people would think I would be distraught with thoughts going through my head like, “Oh, no! What am I going to do?” or “I can’t believe this horrible b**ch let me go. She’s going to rue the day she made that decision!” But no, that’s not how I feel at all. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

You see, prayer is a very powerful thing, as much as some people might choose to believe or not to believe. I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago and I got a lot of praise from it after I prayed to God about my path the night before. I was a bad Christian and I hadn’t prayed in a while until Monday morning when I simply said, “Let me know where my path to living a dream will take me”. And boom! I was let go. It was apparent that the relationship was not working out the way anyone had anticipated, however, I used the job as an excuse to not fully pursue my passion for writing as much as I should have.

I had been dreaming of just writing since I was a little girl. I wanted to be a journalist, or so I thought, until I realized that would mean I would write someone else’s stories in a specific format for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to write my own stories. I wanted to be an investigative journalist but I wasn’t willing to work from the bottom of the barrel to hopefully make it to the top so I just did what society told me to do and got a job. I really deviated from my dream to write.

It wasn’t until 2011, I had my heart broken, and I went back to my roots. I was told I had talent and I remembered my purpose once again. I guess you have to hit some sort of rock bottom to remember where you came from. It wasn’t a real rock bottom, that came a few years later but it got me back to doing something I really enjoyed. Then the story just unfolded from that point. I started doing freelance work to expand my portfolio and here I am today, jobless and pursuing my real passion.

I have to say, this could not happen without the support of the Comedian who has always instilled in our relationship that to create is what makes us such a unique couple and I am reminded by him regularly to live our passion and our dream. I guess I am still living in a little bit of fear of the unknown. It’s interesting I read an article today in Addicted2Success.com basically solidifying what I have been avoiding for so long, the fear of the unknown. I’m not going to say I love or hated my job, it was just not me. Going in from 9-5, living someone else’s dream and passion, and going home a paycheck in which someone else chose the amount I was paid. Just the thought of all of that irks me a little bit. I’m not knocking it for anyone else, I’m just saying, it is not for me.

All in all, I’m excited for this journey I am just embarking on and every bone in my body is happy. Just utterly happy. I know it’s all in God’s hands now but I have faith that everything will turn out just the way it’s supposed to.

Lovenote images - Artistic images

Opposites DO attract!

So I was talking to the Comedian last night and, for whatever reason, it finally dawned on me that we had a lot less in common that I thought.  It's not a bad thing at all but I realized that over the last 2 1/2 years, I didn't see what those differences were. It's apparent that I'm a social butterfly.  I love people.  I will talk to a random person if they are sitting next to me because I just don't like the awkwardness of not knowing who's around PLUS you might learn something interesting.  Like this weekend, I met someone who brewed for Cigar City, a brewery in Tampa with some great beers.  Anyhow, the Comedian would prefer to sit at home and watch movies instead of go out on the town.  He does accommodate my craziness but it's all about compromise.  This was a HUGE adjustment for me in the beginning.  Growing up, my mom used to tell me I had ants in my pants.  I have no idea why I want to be out in the world discovering but its what I like to do.  A good friend of mine said it could possibly be FOMO (fear of missing out).  Who knows...

I have to honestly say though, I think the Comedian balances me out a little bit.  I am starting (yes, just starting) to learn to enjoy being at home and relaxing.  I have grown a huge appreciation for nights on the couch watching TV or movies.  Just us two.  No one else.  It's comforting.

Regardless of the fact, we do share things in common like a strange sense of humor, sarcasm, and similar goals in life like when to have kids and what kinds of careers we would like to have in the future.  The Comedian says something all of the time that makes me think.

"We spend our 30s fixing all of the mistakes we made in our 20s."

Crazy to think my 20s were as tumultuous as they were, however, I am grateful that maturity finally caught up to me and I'm able to see our relationship for what it really is.  Just two people who want to live a happy life together.  So simple... but true.

Here are some pictures from this past weekend, we had a blast!  The 80s were the best!

The Urge to Write

It's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote in my infamous blog.  I've had a bit of writer's block, as they say.  Since moving in with the Comedian, I've been coincidentally crazy at work, then I go home and it seems there is something to do or someone to see.  I tell you, it's been non stop.  I yearn for the days when I turn to the Comedian, he looks at me and asks, "So what do you want to do today?"  Lately, it's been, "Babe, what do we have scheduled for the weekend?" I have calmed down immensely from my crazy college days.  I think it was a progression.  When I found my group of friends from Orlando, they were just as crazy as I was.  It was a match made in party heaven, however, they are settling down a little bit as well.  There are babies and pregnancies popping up all over the place.  My co workers consistently tell me, I'm next.  I look at them and say, "Not yet, I haven't been drinking the water."

Lately, I've immersed myself in listening to podcasts like crazy.  Honestly, the Comedian got me into them.  It started off listening to his favorite comedian, Bill Burr, and it grew to bloggers like Pat Flynn and my new favorite, Entrepreneurs on Fire.  It has my mind going a mile a minute on what plans I might for my future.  Don't get me wrong, I love to write, I just want that to be what propels me to what I am destined to do.

I know deep down inside, this is only the beginning.  I know in a few years, this blog will have a new meaning and great following.

Thank you all for reading!