5 Ways to Boost your Confidence

Being a strong woman in a world full of people ready and willing to push you down can really take a toll on your confidence.  I literally just finished reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert after much procrastination and watching the movie 500 times.  I was inspired by her story, especially her trip to India that led her to regain her confidence.  It is important to remember that we are beautiful, sassy, smart, innovative, movers and shakers of our environment.  But there is that one day that you are feeling just a bit down.  Here are some ideas to pick you up when you're not feeling top-notch.

Dress the way you want to feel

It is amazing what clothes can do to our self-esteem.  Have you ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself, "Damn, I look good"?  Ladies, you can sincerely feel like this all the time.  You know how the saying goes;

"Dress for the job you want"

The same goes for your mood.  Dress for the mood you want to have.  If you want to feel sexy, slip on that thong you know makes you feel like you are being a little naughty and it will exude on the outside and if you want to feel like you can take over the world, put on a power suit.

Drop the negativity

It's sometimes hard to see when people are bringing you down, especially when you're a women.  We all get caught up in the drama and gossip in the world around us.  It's so easy to just get sucked in.  I mean that's why reality TV is so addicting.  We love to revel in someone else's life when its worse than ours.  Well, snap out of it!

I know it can be difficult to get rid of friends who might be bringing us down as well but you have to remember that friends sometimes come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  If the reason is up and they are bringing you down, it's time to move on.  Exuding confidence is all about YOU, not the other person.  Trust me, I am guilty of being a people pleaser but I know when to drop my losses.  Walk away from the negative talk and get yourself back in stride.

Talk to yourself

That's right, I said it.  Look in the mirror and talk to yourself.  Find a mantra that works for you like, "I am beautiful, no one today is going to bring me down" or "I am going to take over the world".  Whatever it may be, make sure its a positive, reassuring mantra that you are going to say to yourself.  The most important thing about this routine is that you have to do it daily and you have to believe it.  If you don't believe it, repeat it again until you do. Positive self-talk is so powerful

Hit the gym

You don't necessarily have to go to the gym but work out.  Do something.  Get off the couch and get moving.  WebMD says that working out releases endorphins which basically means it releases a chemical that makes us happy.  The same chemical that makes us smile when we hear a baby laugh.  Not only that, but after working out for a little while, you'll feel better about your body, you'll have more energy, and most importantly, you'll be more confident.

Surround yourself with positive people

I recently heard from someone you should surround yourself with people who are smarter than you.  I have always been a strong believer in having friends and significant others who bring you up and not bring you down.  I have been blessed with a great set of friends and every time we're together, it just reassures me and reminds me of how awesome they are smart, beautiful, positive women with the most amazing hearts.  It did take a while to get the negative people out of my life and it was worth it.  Find a mentor, surround yourself with amazing people, and your confidence will be the last thing you worry about.

Keep in mind these are just tips.  If you going through depression, please seek professional help.  From someone who has experienced depression before, it might be hard to get out of your own way when you're feeling down in the dumps.

Stay sassy, confident, and remember you are the most beautiful woman in the world!

Yes, Some Girls Love Football

I laughed to myself as I read this meme. I find it comical that for the longest time, I continually dated guys who didn't watch sports.  It was a bit of a conundrum to me.  The biggest complaint I've heard or read from other article was that men would watch sports and ignore their significant other.  But yet, I wasn't dating those guys.  I actually find it attractive that I can bond with a guy through sports.  What if the girl you were with were cheering along with you?  That was me.

As a matter of fact, the group of girls I hang with now all watch football.  When I first started dating the Comedian, several years ago, he looked at me and said, "You're amazing."  I smiled and asked, "Why?"He looked at me and replied, "Because you watch football and drink beer and eat wings."  I snickered, "Most of my girlfriends do."

I guess its a rare breed.  As a matter of fact, I am a Florida Gator and  New York Giants fan.  Even though either team is not performing at their absolute best this season, I still will watch with passion, as well as entertain any arguments about their performance.   I do get upset when they lose and hear all of the people who root for opposing teams jam up my news feed with teasing remarks.  But its all part of the game.  Once, the Comedian's father asked me why I love it and I replied that it was because of the camaraderie, the passion for the sport, and the challenge of the game.  He agreed.

At the end of the day, I am looking forward to the next game.  When it's Spring, I miss football season and I am excited for the next tailgating event.  It doesn't matter what you're passionate about but don't change yourself to fit your guy's needs.  He will love you regardless :-)

I leave with you with a photo of all of us on the way to a NY Giants game in Atlanta.

Is Divorce an Option?

Last night I was perusing through my Hulu account because all of my shows had ended their season and came across "Mistresses" with Alyssa Milano. I was a little interested because I've been a fan of hers since "Who's the Boss" and "Charmed" so I figured I gave it a try. I should had known what I was in for due to the title of the series. It's kind of sad to realize that this kind of program can exist because it has become socially acceptable that people cheat on their significant others. I remember from a History in TV class I took in college (I was a TV/Film Production major for a little), that society is actually ahead of TV trends. Like the first interracial or same sex kiss did not show up on any program until it was firmly known it was socially acceptable and a riot wouldn't form because it was shown in front of the public.

Anyhow, it saddens me that cheating on spouses is something that comes as some sort of a norm. I'm not naive to the subject, I do have personal experiences among family and friends that, unfortunately, have been a victim of cheating. I wonder, what happened to the sanctity of marriage? Do people get married with the idea that divorce is an option and that if they get tired of their spouses, they just cheat? Maybe it bothers me because my parents did divorce when I was a teenager. I had suffered from commitment issues for a very long time because I didn't want the same to occur to me. That is probably why I was a serial dater because I could just run as soon as I saw the possibility of becoming vulnerable.

A few years ago, I decided that if I were going to settle down, it would be one time. I would make myself the best version that I could be. I would then date serious guys who had their stuff together and wanted a future together. Then one day I heard the following quote:

“Divorce can’t be an option – it’s really that simple. If you just remove the option… because, if you have the option, one day that person’s gonna make you wanna divorce.

“That’s been a huge part of the success for she and I… We’re like, ‘Listen, we’re gonna be together one way or the other so might as well try and be happy.” - Will Smith

I realized I would have to find someone with the same mindset I did when it came to marriage and making it work.

I know some people just say, it didn't work out or we just grew apart but I think the idea of getting married when you're a little older, you had the chance to get to know your wants and needs in a relationship. You, in turn, would make the smarter choice in a partner. Maybe I'm in my own world when it comes to this concept. Then I ask, why even get married if divorce is an option?

It's that time... again

As a woman, I struggle with my changing ummm hormones. It seems that when it's "that time of the month" my emotions go a little haywire. I like to pride myself in being cool and calm so when I started to realize a trend in my heightened sensitivity, I started to pay attention. It's interesting because this is not a new phenomenon. In the book, "The Power of Now", Ekhart Tolle talks about staying in the "now" when it is this time specifically for women. I found it interesting that it was addressed. The whole idea of being in the "now" is to focus on your state of being, but when my emotions are toying with me, my mind goes a mile a minute. I think I first realized I was going a little crazy a few months ago when I started an argument with a friend. I asked myself, why did I get so upset? Then the next month, the same topic came up and I got upset, yet again around the same time. Whoa... I figured it out.

I didn't want to think that a woman's physiology would create an issue but I had to finally admit to myself that it does. Even today, I was having a conversation with my boyfriend, we'll call him The Comedian, and for whatever reason I felt like something was wrong. That he was upset with me. It didn't hit me until after the conversation how crazy I was and then I realized what was just around the corner.

Sometimes we slip and don't realize that we don't have all of the control in our own emotions. Possibly some women are worse than others however, this is something that happens once a month for many. Yes, I do get cranky, especially if I'm rubbed the wrong way in the morning. It throws my day off. It's interesting because I just recently rewatched "The Secret" and they did bring up the fact that even if your day starts off on the wrong foot, we have the control to change how we feel by just adjusting our emotions just a little bit.

Who said being a woman was easy??

My Worth

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question "What kind of man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?" The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more." I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man." I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect.In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot." She replied,"I'm worth a lot."..> Thank you Helena!