influence

How Much Does Social Media Influence Little Girls?

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by Ste Elmore Recently, the Comedian and I broke into a debate about raising girls in the current environment with social media being such an influence.  I really had no idea how to argue his point.  I'm not a parent and I don't have experience with the psychology of a young person.  I'm not really sure how others are developed, I only know my own story.  There is some sort of fear of raising a child.  You don't know how they will grow up or what kind of adult you would be, one would just have faith that you would instill your values into this child and let them out in the world.  Does this ideal make us naive?

This conversation came up because of the recent album cover of Nikki Minaj.  Basically, her bare bottom is shown as she is bent down.  She has made a name for herself as a talented artist and young girls look up to her.  So does this make it okay to show our bodies in that manner?  What kind of message does that deliver to little kids?  Not too long ago, Kim Kardashian posted an Instagram photo with her in a revealing bathing suit that made us question the same.

Granted, when I was growing up, there were influences like Madonna and Cindi Lauper, however, I was very sheltered.  My parents never talked to me about sex and I was always told to dress conservatively.  My mom is an old school Catholic woman.  I remember she made a comment about my rebellious stage in college.  I used to show a lot of cleavage because I felt that if I was blessed to be endowed in that area, I should show it off.  She said that I had one side of my closet I wore around her and the other I didn't.  Ha!  I don't dress like that any more if you're wondering.  Something about not being 21 anymore changed my wardrobe.

After the conversation ended, I posted a question on Facebook asking the opinion of others.  Many felt strongly that is more difficult to raise girls in this generation than before because technology is so accessible.  Others said the jury was still out.  Children have influences from their friends where they might have cell phones at 7 years old and able to watch things that are not being supervised by parents.  There's a comedian, Louis C.K., who was asked by his 9 year old daughter whether she could have a cell phone, he told her, "No".  She questioned and he answered that she wasn't old enough to have a phone.  She rebutted that her friend had one.  He still said, "No".

The question is whether parents have enough influence on their children to become good adults, to not follow in the footsteps of pop stars showing off their sexuality and sending the wrong message to the opposite sex.  How do we really know?  The thing is, we don't.  We don't know how our children are going to turn out, however, we pray that they are healthy and lead good lives.  In the long run, we love them and want them to have the time of their lives like we did.

The Cycle

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I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. - Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City

3302350307_e2b0ee77a8 (1) Growth is inevitable. Well, at least to me. I have never envisioned myself to ever stay stagnant. To not continue learning about the world, life, and myself. I know I'm not perfect. I don't think anyone is. Everyone is their own definition of who they allowed themselves to be. Some are just unaware how they got to where they are. I remember in college, I had a roommate who was my friend, at the time, and she was doing a study on Puerto Ricans and their role in society. Because Puerto Ricans are citizens of the U.S., they are eligible for benefits like welfare which they take advantage of especially in low income neighborhoods. Her study was specifically in Chicago. Anyhow, she talked about the "Cycle of Poverty". I always found this interesting because it solidified the notion that sometimes we just don't know any better because we weren't taught. This idea basically meant that because these Puerto Ricans learned to live in poor conditions, survive in low income areas, and had no aspirations to live any other way, they passed on these traits to their children who continued the trend. Thus, ensuing a cycle that continued. Granted, there was always the exception but that's all it is, the exception, not the rule. I have always been a student of people. Learning their behavior, their reactions, and so on to understand why they would say the things they said or did the things they did. When I dated, it became a little bit of a challenge until I actually really liked the person and got really frustrated when they didn't see what I saw. The potential of a great thing. Luckily, God had a plan and landed me with the Comedian. I am forever grateful for that. I didn't learn very much from my parents. They did teach me to be a good person and to be considerate of people's feelings but I wasn't taught about money or love or how to deal with sketchy people. My mom was never really into makeup or clothes, she's a very plain woman. She's a peaceful, reserved woman. And I came out like a thunderbolt ready to strike the next social gathering. Plus she had straight hair. Not me...lol. Let's say, I've been referred to Shakira on a regular basis because of my wild curls. I learned how to blow dry my hair from my hair stylist, friends, and youtube. I learned how to apply makeup by the back of pallets of eyeshadow and youtube. This is because I wanted to be someone who wanted to be a bit more fashionable and I realized I never learned that from my mom. I LOVE shoes and she wonders why I have so many. My point out of all of this that you have the choice to decide who you want to be. Like Carrie from Sex and the City, I know that I will never be the perfect girl who can keep her clothes clean through a meal. Hell, for whatever reason I always manage to get something on myself. I will always be the person who walks accidentally into a pole or falls in public. But that's who I accept. Whatever I want to change, is my own choice. I know I won't every be a statistic unless it comes to cliche surveys on how many shoes I own. Love yourself and who you are. You are unique in your own right. If you don't like the situation you're in, change it. You are the designer of your life. Don't let excuses on why things aren't the way you planned get in the way. Because you are the only reason you got to where you are.