Wedding Planning is for the Birds

If anyone really, really knows me, I sincerely don’t like being the center of attention.  I like to meander through the crowd getting to know people one on one.  Shoot, I always turn beet red when people start singing “Happy Birthday” to me.  Being put right in the spotlight is not really my thing.  So what does that say for my experience in becoming a bride?  I’ll tell you.  I have this sensation of anxiety anytime anyone asks me, “So how is the wedding planning going?” Again, if you really know me, you know that I’m a hustler and I don’t like to wait to get things done.  With that being said, almost everything is planned except for the wedding cake, bridesmaids dress, and other tiny little details.  I do operations for a living people!  Haha!  I guess my only real anxiety with wedding planning is finding the finances to pay for it.  I have always been good with saving, however, this expense is a little bit out of my reach.  Our parents have been great in helping us out financially but it’s just not enough.  I’m not sure how else other people stress out about the details.  Maybe it’s the fact they want to please everyone on their guest list and they want to everything to be perfect.  However, I’ve learned over time that nothing ever comes out exactly the way you planned.

I’ve expressed my anxiety of wedding planning to some people and they tell me, “Just enjoy the process”.  I do like to put together parties but I also like to know that I can afford things.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re not desperately poor by any means, we’re just middle class Americans trying to plan something close to the wedding of our dreams.  I just didn’t realize flowers cost so much!  It’s crazy that I saved almost $100 by removing 1 rose from each of the centerpieces.  Insane!  If I had all the money in the world, I would cover the whole room in flowers and have flamenco dancers and a photo booth.

We have been blessed by some great people who are doing us favors.  I am truly grateful for that fact.  My next endeavor is to do this timeline.  Seriously, I didn’t know each and every detail needed to be planned out.  I guess the bridezillas of the world have created extra work for us more laid back types.

On a happier note, we got some of our engagement photos in!  Enjoy!

Unnecessary Advice

Last night, I went out with a couple of friends. One of which I had been friends with for a significant amount of time. My current engagement came up in conversation because he is conservative when it comes to my choices in my friendships as my fiance is. Anyhow, initially he felt uncomfortable the fact that I had brought up several references to the fact that he had been belligerent and is a school teacher and I find it ironic because I would have never imagined my teachers living anywhere near a similar lifestyle. So because these references were brought up, he was upset and asked me to be more discreet around those he did not know too well. After apologizing, I came to realize that he was guilty of the same. Then he offered relationship advice to me because he felt I shouldn't be open to my fiance about my questionable past which has been mentioned throughout my blogs. I told him, I would rather be sincere than having my fiance find out the truth later on. That, in turn, would hurt our relationship more. My friend went on saying that what he doesn't know would not hurt him. This conversation about boundaries and such went on for TWO hours.

I told him I disagreed and he was upset because he believed I was not listening. I was listening, but my personality is much more liberal. Over time, I have matured throughout my relationship because we have hit rock bottom and we have been at our high. Then he continued to talk about how all relationships are similar. Again, I disagreed because all relationships are not the same. But when he referenced similarities, they were the vague ones which implied we had goals and that all discussions about our past relationships were attacked the same way. I disagree. Some conversations come up in different methods. I might ask, he might ask... it might come up in a different form. He could have read my blogs. We could have discussed it.

My point is after all of this discussion, and I didn't understand why we were still talking. I didn't ask for advice or to dissect my relationship. I told him that there are things that are discussed within our relationship are private and he does not know our relationship. He had no right to discuss something he did not know. Especially, when he does not have a successful relationship under his belt because he pushes people away with precisely this, advice because he is older, he feels he has the right to tell me how to live my life.

I am stubborn, but I am also one to listen. It was like he was giving me a sales pitch because he asked me to repeat what he said as I understood. I did understand and excuse me for taking what was said literally. If you are one to explain every facet of your point, why shouldn't I?? Also, don't change your direction of your advice because you are trying to make a point which hadn't been reached yet. Yes... I understand and No... I do not agree.

Please, I will seek advice when necessary. I am not one to do things on my own. I am one to ask questions until I'm blue in the face. But I will not ask an Olympic Swimmer about how to play football.