judge

Our Ego makes us Judge

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sunset"Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." - Matthew 7:1-2 (KJV)

Society and the bible teaches us two different things.  All over social media someone is judging what someone is wearing, what they are doing, how they are doing, what their children look like, how many posts they put up a day and so on.  Reality TV has made a killing because viewers love a drama.  They want to live vicariously through people in situations they probably could not dream of being a part of whether it would be a love story or two girls having it out because their weave was pulled.  I mean there's a show on judging what someone was wearing on the red carpet.

I think sometimes we're so accustomed to judging and talking about other people that we lose sight of how we should really treat others.  I tell myself not to scrutinize someone because it is not right but there might be a little voice in my head that is saying otherwise.  God says not to judge because he created us in his image.  He will make the final decision on judgement day.  Whether you are Christian or not, the same holds true through most religions.  To be an honest person who embraces themselves and loves others.    I am told that I am to love everyone even if I don't agree with their decisions.

I guess this comes as difficult for me because all I've ever wanted to do is help people but in the long run I ended up just trying to make them more like myself.  My happiness is my own.  I have the yearn to teach other people but it has taken me a long time to recognize to give help when someone seeks it.  Someone once asked me,

"Why do you feel the need to teach them how to be grammatically more correct?  Is it for them or is it for you?"

I think in the end we're boosting our ego.  It's never for them.  It's to make us feel like we've done something to help even though they didn't ask for it.  I have sincerely been struggling with not trying to control others in what they do.  All control does is boost the ego.  I know I've spoken about ego in previous posts, its a false sense of making us feel better about ourselves.  Living on my own for such a long time, I realize that I might have become set in my ways and I have to search to find a way to stop the control.  Let life happen.

It's interesting because I've spoken to some of my guy friends who are planning weddings and they feel frazzled.  I think wedding planning has to be one of the most hectic things one might do because you want to control the outcome.  In reality, you can't.  You can do the best you can and know the day will be amazing regardless of the bumps in the road.  Once you let go, I know you will feel peace.  Work hard at it and things will find a way of working out the way God intended.

Kill 'em with Kindness

What an interesting morning!  On my way to work, I was about to take a right turn on a major street.  While looking left, I guess I let my foot off the brake a little bit and rolled right into the car in front of me.  Insta-accident!  It actually wasn't that bad.  She had a couple of scuffs on her bumper but I got out the car and asked her to pull into the business next to us so we were out of traffic. I think initially she was very upset.  She told me she was going to report the accident so that she doesn't have to pay for the damage.  I did the wrong thing and thought to myself , what a B***CH.  What I didn't realize, the actions I was about to take would change the scenario immensely.

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The accident was completely my fault.  I wasn't paying attention.  I offered to give her a copy of my insurance since I can just print out another copy and the information is on my insurance app (yes, there is an app for that).  She explained herself and said, "I'm so sorry, I don't want to be a pain but my car is leased and I just don't want to pay for it in the long run.  If your insurance covers it, that's all I want to be done."  I realized, this lady is just struggling like the rest of us and I had no right to judge the content of her character.

So, I called my insurance company and filed a claim.  After all was said and done, she asked me to talk to her insurance company not realizing that I've already spoken to mine.  I was more than happy to help.  She explained that there was no reason to get the police involved if everything was taken care of without them.  What a relief!  Then she thanked me for being so nice and helpful.

Just to think, being super kind and understanding can help diffuse a situation.  Accident's happen.  Finding the solution to the problem is really what needs to be done.  I believe some dwell on what happened, get angry about it and leave the resolution until the end.  You can't help the past, only the present.