Dating 101 - Online dating

I believe I have mentioned this before, but I've been dating online since I was 17 years old in the days of AOL chat rooms.  As a matter of fact, my date for Senior prom was someone I met in that very chat room.  Long story short, I had a date who forgot to ask for the day off and I frantically found a replacement. I have several dates, meetings, phone calls and texts under my belt so I have decided to give you pearls of wisdom:

1.  When creating a profile, have a mixture of close ups and full body shots.  I believe you should not give anyone surprises as to how you look.  No guy or girl wants to show up on a date with someone who is 50 lbs heavier or 30 years older.  I think you want to have some sort of genuine relationship and it is never good basing it all of a lie.  It is never a pleasant feeling having your hopes up and being super disappointed.  Also, if you are not happy with yourself, how do you expect to be happy in a relationship.

2.  Less is more.  You don't want to post your whole life story on the internet.  It doesn't leave any intrigue to the person reading your profile.  Also, no one wants to read a 10 page essay on how you're tired of finding the wrong guy.  Be very straight forward as to who you are, your likes and dislikes and what you're looking for.  Keep at maybe 10 sentences at the very max.  See one of mine as an example:

"I am a goal oriented, motivated Latina woman who is always willing to learn more. I've always been told I am very laid back and easy to get along with. I absolutely love dancing salsa. Also, I love to be surrounded by those who enjoy life and never take what they have in front of them for granted. I am a social butterfly and love to be around people. I try to stay as busy as possible so there is never a dull moment. I would like to meet someone who could keep up with my energy. You could say I'm an optimist but life is so much better living when one is happy. I would love to meet someone who is into sports (I love football GO GIANTS and GO GATORS!) and who is easy going. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I would love someone who's not afraid to be themselves and make me laugh. Laughter is one of the most important attributes someone should have. Finally, I need someone who is willing to understand and communicate their feelings. I want to meet my best friend. I believe chivalry should not be dead. It says a lot when a man takes initiative."

3.  Do what makes you comfortable. Some guys online tend to very pushy.  Do not allow someone to get your phone number right off the bat.  When someone gives you a good vibe, you'll know it and let him pursue you.  If he actually makes an effort to have a conversation with you online, then asks for your phone number, then it is okay to move forward.  There are some guys only looking for one thing.  Some are very straight forward about it and some are very very sneaky.  Those sneaky guys are usually just insecure and trying to boost their egos with a conquest.  Don't get overwhelmed with the messages either.  On some sites, they see fresh meat and attack.  Take everything at your own pace.  No one is holding a gun to your head to answer ASAP.  Plus its not that hard to filter.  Someone worth talking to will make an effort in their message, not just say "hi" or "what's up".

4.  Always meet in a public place.  I repeat ALWAYS meet in a public place.  You really don't know this guy.  He could sound great over the phone but the next thing you know he could be a stage 5 clinger.  You don't want him to know where you live.  Your house, apartment, living quarters or where ever is very intimate.  This is the place you call your sanctuary. Don't go to his place either.  Bad things happen when you're isolated.  Trust me.  I'm not saying all guys are bad but I'm saying there are bad eggs out there.  You will feel more comfortable where there are a lot of people around.  Also, let someone close to you know where you are going, just in case.

5.  Have an escape plan (optional) This is a matter of preference.  I will admit, I have done this in the past but I have coordinated with girl friends to call me 30 minutes into the date to make sure I'm okay.  This could be your way out especially if you're unsure about the guy.  If the guy is totally whack, then make up your part of the conversation when your friends call.  Say, "I don't normally pick up calls but my friend doesn't usually call me this late."  or something to that extent.

6.  Be yourself. There is nothing more sexy about a confident woman who knows how to throw her hair back and have a good time.  Laughter adds more years to your life so embrace it.  If things don't work out, no worries, there are more fishies in the sea (no pun intended).

I hope my tips help you in being a little bit more secure with journey into the online dating world.  I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have for this process.  I mean I blog about dating because its something I definitely know.

I'm a Strong Woman

Thankfully, I have the spirit of my grandmother on my dad's side.  The strongest woman I know.  Recently, I went to my uncle's funeral in Puerto Rico.  Granted, I never knew him that well but his sons (my cousins) are close to me and I wanted to be there for the family.  I recognized that it was the hardest thing to see the my grandmother cry as I could had never imagined her doing so.

I had to become very independent when I was pretty young, around 14.  There were somethings going on with my life, including my parent's divorce, which lead me to just do everything on my own so I didn't have to burden my family.  Over time, I have just become so accustomed to taking care of myself.  I realize it can be a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because I rarely worry knowing that all my ducks are in a row and a curse because it is hard to let of responsibilities when you might need to sometimes. 

Recently, I read an article Ask a Guy: Are Men Intimidated by Strong Women.  Here are some points which I would like to share:

When someone is secure and self-sufficient:

• They don’t need to control other people.  They are relaxed and guide without
• They have tact and compassion – they can say what they mean clearly without being offensive or arguing.
• They have nothing to prove - they do as they do for their own reasons and desires.
• They are whole and fulfilled because they live their life by their own standards and don’t seek fulfillment through others.
• They are emotionally open and unguarded.  They are secure enough to know that they can defend themselves if necessary, so they don’t need to keep a constant guard up to drive people away.  Insecure people guard their emotions highly, since they fear that if they let their guard down they’ll lose themselves in another person or get hurt."

  My point is a strong woman should be appreciated and cherished.  We aren't naggy and helpless.  We have a voice and like to hold conversations, laugh and have a good time because we know everything else is taken care of.  If you have a strong woman in your life, don't let her go.  She will be an inspiration.

That Je Ne Sais Quoi

Over the past few weeks, I've been on several dates.  For some reason, the chemistry was extremely lacking.  I find it interesting that I have chemistry with men who are bad for me.  Whether we lack anything in common or they have 10 kids and 5 baby mama's.  Maybe I have a thing for boys I can't catch or who I know are easily attainable.  I really want to like the guys who have great jobs and have their heads on straight.  Don't get me wrong, they aren't bad looking, just blah! It's so hard to find someone with personality who actually wants to have a relationship.  I think they might know how good they are and like playing the field.  Sometimes I feel like Charlotte from Sex and the City.  "I've been dating since I was 15, where is he already?!?!"

I've come to realize that maybe I'm just so accustomed to dating, that might not be able to move to the next step.  I ask my friends who are in relationships and most of them have not really ever dated.  Things literally just happened.  I could just be entertaining my boredom by even going on dates or finding material by enduring really bad dates.  I'm not sure.  All I know, this is getting very tiring!

So what I want what I want!

After my last experience in an attempted relationship had failed so relentlessly, it has taken almost a year to get over.  Only the last 6 months, I have been able to even fathom the idea of giving my heart to another person.  What angers me is the fact that, yes, I'm ready for a relationship but no, I'm not going to end up with the first guy who comes along and makes me laugh. I don't want to come across as full of myself but I have worth.  I'm a very independent, self sufficient, intelligent woman.  Yes, I grew up in an atmosphere where the woman was expected to be domesticated (I'm Puerto Rican) and tend to her family, but I'm also Americanized enough that I would not be taken for granted. No offense to those women with old fashioned values, to each their own.  Not my cup of tea.

I recently came out of a situation where I was really happy hanging out with a particular guy but I could not get over his immaturity.  I won't go into the details because I don't think it would be fair to him however I will say I'm not your sugar mama nor can you treat me like a girlfriend but then tell me you don't want a relationship.  You can't have your cake and eat it too!

My point is, I would prefer my next relationship to my last (if that's

possible), not a trial one.  I am picky because I feel as if I deserve to be.  Maybe I might self entitled, but all women should feel self worth enough to end up with someone that will treat them like the queens they are.

Hey guys! This is Tom

I don't know if I'm the only person who gets anxiety about this but I always do when I'm introducing someone I'm dating to my friends.  Most of my friends think I'm crazy for putting so much emphasis on the introduction but by nature, I just worry about everyone's well being and I want them to play nice.  My circumstance is a bit different considering, I've never really been that close to my family, so my friends sometimes fill those gaps when I really need someone to be there.  Having them accept the person I'm dating is super duper important. A few months ago, a friend of mine which I used to date insisted on coming to visit me.  I was a bit hesitant because most of our conversations end up in arguments, however, because I'm so nice, I didn't say no.  Coincidentally, that same weekend, a friend of mine was having a dinner for her birthday and I didn't want my out of town guest to hinder an opportunity to hang out with my friends.  So, I went to pick up my friend at the train station. He practically jumps on me and I realize, OMG... I am sooo not attracted to him like I used to be.  I get nervous. I dropped him off at my apartment and went back to work to finish my day.

When I got from work, he practically attacked me again.  Sigh... I push him off of me and we got ready to head out.  What I didn't remember, for whatever reason, is that he couldn't hear out of one ear.  We get to the restaurant, I say hi to everyone.  We sat down and I waited for my best girlfriend, her husband and another good friend of mine to arrive.  My best girlfriend's husband is a bit over protective of me, kind of like an older brother.  When I initially introduce him to someone, he doesn't like to talk to them until he knows he's sticking around.  I think not to get attached.  Out of everyone, I think he makes me the most nervous, minus meeting my father, of course.

As we're at the table, this guy that I brought does not shut up!  My friends are trying to ask him questions, but he doesn't hear them because of his faulty ear.  This just got super embarrassing.  Needless to say, I was never going to live this down (and I haven't yet :-/).  I am not going to get into the details of the rest of the night, but let's say, I wasn't exactly the nicest person to him.  I found it strange I could be a complete  b**ch to him and got away with it.  I wasn't proud of what I was doing but it was my reaction to embarrassment I endured.  I couldn't wait for that visit to be over and it is one weekend I will never forget.

Experiences like these just make me more wary of who I'm bringing around.  I do spend a lot of time with my friends but if I can sacrifice a couple of nights to make sure a guy is okay, I'm willing to do that then go through a crazy experience.

Men can be so selfish!

This is a rant out of frustration.  I was told men can't help being selfish because of their testosterone.  To be a woman, you have to be mysterious, play hard to get, ladylike, whatever society wants you to be.  It is so tiring because in essence, you are trying to win a man's heart by playing this role.  Because they are so involved with their lives, they don't even take into consideration what your feelings might be at that moment.  This is when you play hard to get so they want to spend time with you because they can't have you.  It's ridiculous.  You are competing with their families and friends who play a higher precedence in their life regardless of how they feel about you.  I can't necessarily complain but all I ask is be honest.  If you're doing something with your family and/or friends then tell me.  If you're interested in getting to know me, make me feel important so that I don't feel that I may need to stray away. Yes, my friends are important but I also know that I need to make time for things that I want.  If you want something you will make the sacrifices for whatever you want to achieve.  I just can't stand those who hide information just so they don't hurt someone.  Let me tell you... the secret is out.  If you're online dating and changing your default picture almost every day then you disappear, that means you're on a date with someone else.  Stop leading people on!

Every woman has their worth.  A good woman deserves to get treated with more respect.  Keep your one eyed monsters in check!

Men in Uniform

I don't know if it has to do with the fact that my dad was in the Army.  Someone once told me, you date what you know but I have always been drawn towards a man in uniform.  According to Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., "The 'uniform' may signify that the man is able to manage life's troubles. We all want those to whom we are attached to be able to stay solid when we are a mess so that we can count on them. It spells safety and security." I can honestly say I've dated all branches of the military as well as a firefighter and policeman.  I think that sense of manliness has always appealed to me.  I use the word dated loosely as we went on a date or two at least.  There are a few which I dated for longer but no need to go into details.  This is all about the love for a man wearing a uniform.

The only downfall I have seen which has always been a kind of deal breaker for me is the lifestyle.  I was engaged to someone who served in Afghanistan.  Just worrying about your loved one on a daily basis is almost torturous.  I don't know if I could go through that again.  I give the utmost respect to the faithful men and women married to those overseas.   They have to endure raising a family without their loved one so they can keep their family safe.  In the spirit of Memorial Day, thank you for your service... I digress

My point is, men in uniform do have a certain draw.  I don't know if its a woman's need to want to be saved but I think deep down inside, knowing that you can be saved from a fire or whatever it is, leaves a sense of security.  As a strong woman, I hate to admit I need saving... but wouldn't it be nice? :-)

Ghosting

Urbandictionary.com defines ghosting as "The act of disappering on your friends without notice".  This term has become a phenomenon not only between friends but in the dating world as well.  I recently heard a conversation on the radio regarding this topic.  I'm not sure if its something new but I know I've done this and experienced it before.

Imagine this... you go on a date with this great guy.  All you can do is sit there and imagine what tomorrow might bring.  He gives you a kiss goodnight and the longest embrace in the world.  He tells you, he'll call you tomorrow.  The next day, you don't hear anything, then the following day... NOTHING.  Then you start to wonder, "What did I do wrong?"  You want to be lady-like and not send him a text, but F-IT!  You do it.  and NOTHING!  You have just become the victim of ghosting.

I know it might be a bad concept to recognize you might be guilty of, but, I personally hate the awkward conversation after a date when you decide this guy isn't right for me.  I understand that avoiding them might be easier.  Believe me, the guy probably has some crazy situation which would assist in him avoiding you or he could be a coward, but its neither here nor there.  It happens. Just breathe.  Don't try to justify it and create some sort of urban legend fantasy you might relate to.  Just realize, he's just not that into you.

Online Dating does not equal Relationship

This is more of a gripe than advice on how to date online.  I'm not sure if I've ever shared my first online dating experience.  When I was in my senior year of high school, my prom date kind of told me at the last minute that he wasn't able to go.  After many hours of sobbing, I went on AOL and went into a chat room.  I met someone who came to my rescue and less than two weeks later he was my date to the prom.  Needless to say, that relationship never went anywhere but I digress... Since then, I have not be very successful in cultivating a relationship out of meeting someone online.  I believe I have one ex boyfriend I met on MySpace but he was a friend of a friend, so I don't think that really counts.  Almost 2 years after my last significant relationship, I've found this breed of men who go onto paid online dating sites who are not really ready to get into something serious whether it be because they just got out of relationships or they are just way too busy.  They either think they are ready but don't realize the time and effort it takes to be in a relationship or they are just trying to get their feet wet.

I ask, if you're not ready for a relationship, do not advertise yourself falsely on a paid dating website!  Go on one that is not paid, at least I don't have to take you seriously.  I'm not saying one can't find Ms/Mr Right on a non paying dating site and if you do, mazel tov! Those unpaid sites are full of people just looking for something on the side.

I am only talking about this because you will end up hurting someone.  Giving false hope to a girl who is looking for romance is not something that will help your karma.  Be honest with yourself from the beginning.  Every action has a reaction.

Super Stalkers

I don't recall being in a situation where I was stalked so relentlessly.  I really need to start researching that Google number thing. Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to my girl's house for her husband's birthday party.  He happens to be a DJ for a local Latino promotions company so you can only imagine the music was blasting outside of the house.  I was with a coworker of mine who I'm very fond of.  She's much younger than me so I tend to be a little protective of her but I'm very aware that she is a strong person and can probably take care of herself... I digress. Both her and I stand by the wall for a minute, we'll call her Dory, these two guys approach us and ask us to dance.  I absolutely love dancing so I accepted the offer.  Next thing you know, these guys are on us like white on rice.  They are getting us drinks, asking questions, making sure we don't dance with anyone else and taking pictures with us.  The guy with Dory asked if we were going to go to the club after the party.  She wasn't sure how to respond and asked if I was willing to go, I said, if you want, I'll go with you to make sure everything is okay.  When we were about to leave to go to her house to change (I was already prepared for the occasion) she gave her number to her guy.

After Dory changed, we headed to the club and met the guys in the parking lot.  While we were inside, we found out some information about Dory's guy.  He had a girlfriend.  We confronted him about the issue and he denied, denied, denied.  It's just strange how guys don't believe we aren't going to find out.  If you're a promoter for the club and hang out with the same people we do, you don't think the truth will come out sooner or later?  This always had boggled my mind.

My guy kept trying to feed me drinks.  I believe he had an ulterior motive.  It wasn't going to happen.  I will say that after all of my "training" at the University of Florida, I know when a guy has an idea in his mind. I will be the first to pop that bubble.  Anyhow, after dealing with the lies and the craziness of these guys, I was worn out.  I asked Dory if we could leave.  She agreed and took me to my car.  As we pulled away, the guys were outside watching us drive by.  We didn't tell them we were leaving :-)  I know it seems bad but if you're going to dance with other girls and deny that you are doing that, then why should I respect you?

After Dory dropped me off at my car, I started driving to my apartment.  As I was driving, I looked over to my left and the guys were right there next to me.  I ignored them and successfully found an escape route.

On Monday, I spoke briefly to Dory and she informed me that her guy had been texting her all weekend.  One request from him was to give his friend my number.  I refused.  There was no way I would have that crazy stalker in my life.  Unfortunately, I knew I would see him again. But at least this way, I could keep him at arms length.

Weeks later, I went to the same club and the two guys showed up.  Luckily, I was in the company of another person, so I was able to ignore them.  I spoke to the girl at the door, who is also a friend of mine, she told me they had been harassing her my number as well.  Wow... that's all I can say.  Needless to say, I just hope every time I'm around, I have an escape route.

Finding Myself

The last couple of weeks, I have been going through a sort of soul search or rather trying to balance myself emotionally.  I still haven't figured much out yet, however, there has been a little bit of clarity.  I remember, when I was in High School, I was so sure of what I was supposed to become and where I was going.  However, there were some significant events in my life which made me lose my path.  I haven't really found my path since then.  I've been kind of coasting. 

Now that I've been single for a year and a half, it has been more clear that I've allowed things to cloud where I was supposed to be headed.  I used have so much drive and ideas, now I'm struggling to figure out where it all went.  All I know, I am working towards a goal and I'm almost halfway there.

What I need to do is find a balance between who I used to be and who I am now.  Also, what I need to do to be truly happy.  That is my ultimate goal.  I know the things I want.  I just need to get out of this rut. 

This one time at band camp...

Yes.  I went to band camp, and no nothing perverted happened there.  I happened to be very innocent when I was in High School.  I find it kind of interesting that some stories I repeatedly bring up still get a snicker. After writing the bad date series, I had gone on a few dates.  What I didn't expect were these guys I went on dates with to actually fear me writing about them.  I would not write a blog about someone if it didn't have some comedic relief involved.  There is no comedic relief for a great date. However, there is a bunch of sappy love stuff which I like to enjoy myself. A friend of mine told me that it wasn't fair to the rest of the population that I had these blogs public for everyone to see.  That basically, it was a guide on how not to date me.  Which, in essence, is true.  I believe that it is the opportunity to have the upper hand in a dating situation because I obviously have my thoughts out there in the world to see.  I honestly don't mind considering I feel that I am an open book myself.  If you want to know, then ask.  I have become comfortable enough in my own skin not to fear what someone might think of me.

Just as a disclaimer, if you don't want a blog written about you, don't give the waiter a bad tip, take me somewhere a bit classier than Chick-fil-a (a sit-down restaurant) on our first date, don't show up at my apartment on a bicycle and don't be creepy.  :-)

I'm officially published

I know I'm a little late but I am published officially for the first time. Check out my article. RYSE_FEB-MARCH_FindingMrRight_ValerieFigueroa

Really?? Another bad tipper

I know I've told this story to many people but a couple of weeks ago, I had thought I finally made a connection with someone on a personal level.  I met him in person for the first time and I was looking like I made an effort.  He shows up in military green pants and a plaid shirt.  Again, because we clicked over the phone, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  We sat down to dinner and had pretty decent conversation.  I thought to myself, "Maybe this could work." When the bill came, I sensed something different.  Excuse me for being a prude, however, I believe if a man asks you on a date, he pays for the bill.  He chose the place, he invited me, and its the first date.  The bill sat on the table for about 30 minutes.  I had a feeling he was waiting for me to offer to pay.  He went to the bathroom and, I have to admit, I took a look at the bill.  Finally, he came back and put his card with the check.  When he signed, he only added a $5.00 tip.  I can tell you this... that was about 5% of the check.

Not only was I not really attracted to him, I was totally turned off.  Our waiter was not mediocre, he was awesome.  Very knowledgeable of the menu, wine selection and made conversation with us during our meal.  I felt so bad, I sent a compliment card to the restaurant with a generous tip included.

Anyhow, we went for a walk as I tried to convince myself that maybe it wasn't so bad.  But I couldn't get over what just had happened.  After finishing our walk, I told him that I wanted to go home.  It was late and I was tired.  At least, that's what I told him.

The next day, he sent me a routine text both of us had become accustomed to over the previous week.  I broke down and told him, "Listen, I think its best we should just be friends."  Apparently, he didn't take it so well because he called me right after the text was sent.  He asked what happened and I tried to hide the fact that I was turned off by his actions and told him that I didn't feel the chemistry.  Granted, I wasn't completely lying.  He then said he felt weird because I wasn't the girl he thought I was and I had been lying about who I was to him.

After I hung up, he continued to send texts accusing me of letting my friends make my decisions.  I thought this guy was crazy.  I finally told him the truth.  He then admitted that he was caught but I had no right to judge him for that one action.  That he was not cheap.  He actually did expect me to pay for part of the bill!  He told me he was on a budget and didn't expect the bill to come to that much.  Really??  This guy from New York really didn't expect the bill to be that much.  He chose the place!!  Do your research and don't expect me to have any sort of sympathy for your actions?!?!

Sigh... let's just say, that was the end of that!

Closing the Ex Files

I sincerely love to be happy for people.  But when it comes to someone I dated or an ex, I simply just don't want to actually see their happiness unless I'm in my own little bubble of love.  I know it's selfish but in all honesty, its really for my own sanity.  I have never been the best at dealing with my emotions so I just think of it not being there. For example, there are some men who have gotten engaged or taken their girlfriends on a magical trip somewhere and I think to myself, that could have been me.  Well, that's if I could get over myself and actually figure that I did want that person at that time or even get over of my superficiality (especially when I was younger).  Granted, I believe I have every right to be a little picky but what if I wasn't?  Anyhow, I have discovered the internet has gotten the message.  I could hide their posts on Facebook and still remain friends, so I don't look like the crazy one. I have also done a little research and found out that both Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox have an app which can hide the name of an ex.  I think the internet has moved society  forward in being able to save men and women everywhere from themselves.

I have a rule after a big break up.  I fall off the face of the earth.  What better way to do so then hide all temptation.  Blocking them not only on Facebook but also from internet searches.  I wonder if technology will lower the need for therapy one day?

Coming soon...

I've had some crazy experiences the last few week... Stay Tuned for additions to the Bad Date series!

Bad Date 4 - The Really Blind Date

A lesson which I learned a very long time ago in my 28 years of life is to NOT (I repeat NOT) meet someone from the internet without seeing a picture or several pictures of them first. I believe it was my second or third year of college when I started talking to someone over the phone who lived in Orlando.  I went to UF in Gainesville.  The two weeks we spent speaking over the phone were great.  We had a connection and could talk for hours.  For some reason, in my naivety, he convinced me that I'd seen a picture of him and spoke of his looks very highly.  I just went with it.

We planned a date for one of the weekends I was going to Orlando to visit home.  I pulled up to a very popular location by International Drive, he walked out of his car and handed me a rose as I opened the door of my car.  As I looked into his face, I could remember thinking, I have never seen this man in my entire life!!!  Because of our great connection over the phone, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and disregarded the fact he wasn't physically my type.  I gave him a kiss on the cheek, he opened the car door on the passenger seat of his car and I laid the rose on the back seat, with the intention of taking it home later.

He took me to a local restaurant and we stared at each other.  He had absolutely nothing to say!  I wondered to myself why he was acting so shy.  To occupy the silence, I realized there were two Italian men speaking to each other at at table near us and I was trying to translate what they were saying.  Since I was taking Italian at the time, I took the translate what they were saying.   He asked me if something was wrong and I said " nothing".  I told him I was surprised he wasn't talking much.  He told me he was nervous and I explained there should be no reason to be nervous because he knew me after talking non stop on the phone for 2 weeks.  He asked me what I was thinking and I explained the two Italian men at the table next to us and how I was translating.  Needless to say, our conversation was ummmm empty...

We got back into his car and he asked if we should go downtown.  I thought to myself, why not?  At least we don't have to attempt a conversation with each other.  My date stopped at a gas station, he looked at me and asked, "you're not attracted to me, are you?"

I was dumbfounded.  Who would ask their date that question while they are cornered in a car with the other person?!?  I told him that it wasn't something I wanted to talk about and that we should just enjoy our night (I should have come up with a better answer...I was young).  He looked at me again and just asked me to answer the question.  I told him the truth because I am a big believe in honesty but I tried to hold back the blow as much as possible.  I told him I wasn't attracted to him but I wanted to enjoy this date because of our great conversation.  However, there was no conversation on this date, so it was difficult to overlook the fact that he withheld he never showed me a picture of himself!

Anyhow, we ended up at a club downtown.  We went to the rooftop and on the way up, I dropped my driver's license.  He offered to hold it for me and I accepted the offer.  I thought to myself, I was going to make this the best I could possibly regardless of the circumstances.  We started to dance, and I could feel his manhood protruding into my back.  I was totally turned off!  I told him that I needed to go to the restroom.  He walked me to the door.  I spent the next ten minutes splashing my face with water.  I walked out the door and asked him to take me back to my car.

While walking back to the parking garage, he looked at me and said,"You are the most selfish, self centered, b**ch I've ever met in my life.  I can't believe I let myself care about you."

I was in shock.  How did he have the right to call me self centered when all I tried to do was make this date work regardless of the circumstances.  I responded,"Are you joking?!?  All I've done is tried to talk to you all night but you're too "shy" to talk to someone who you've been been talking to for the last two weeks?!?!"

He just looked at me and continued to call me names.  I just shut my mouth, and prayed the drive back to my car would be silent.  Which it was.

I finally got to my car, slammed his door and never looked back.  Needless to say, I never got my driver's license back from him.

Bad Date 3 - The Bad Tipper

This date wasn't necessarily a bad one, it was what happened at the end which was embarrassing.  I had a crush on this guy in college for whatever reason.  Actually, I'm still not sure what it was but there was something about him.  He was a Mexican Texan who looked slightly like Fred Flinstone... it could had been some weird connection to my childhood... but I digress.  So I asked him if he could take me to this really popular sushi restaurant in Gainesville.  If you went to UF, you know which one I'm talking about.  Anyhow, I ate sushi, he didn't but I guess I can understand some people just don't have the acquired taste for it. The date ended and he paid then told me he needed to head to the bathroom.  I went to the front of the restaurant and waited for him so we could go on with our day.  Our waitress then approached me and I asked what was wrong.  She asked me, "Did I do something bad?"

I said no and asked why.  She then said, "I only got a $1 tip from you guys."  My jaw dropped (not literally but in my mind).  How embarrassing.  I told her I was really sorry and unfortunately I didn't have cash on me.  Then I offered that she take my debit card and charge me for something so I could tip her, she refused.  My date came back from the bathroom and we left.

I didn't say anything to my date but I was totally turned off.  Last time I went out with Fred Flinstone.

Bad Date 2 - The Bicycle

There is a reason why people say do not expect a relationship from someone you've met a club.  A few years ago, I went to a popular latin club with my roommate at the time and met someone who I was automatically physically attracted to.  Obviously after a few drinks and forgotten conversation, we exchanged numbers. Maybe a few days later, I invited him over to hang out with me and my roommate.  I remember I waited a good hour and started to wonder where he was.  He told me he lived in a part of town that was no further than 20 minutes away.  Finally, I heard a knock on the door.  He had finally arrived.  I asked him, "How did you get here?"

He replied, "I rode by bike".

Automatically, I assumed it was a motorcyle.  I asked where he parked it and he said downstairs, I locked it against the stairwell.  I opened the door and looked downstairs.  To my surprise, it was a BICYCLE.  Then I went on to find out that he had actually taken the bus the majority of the way and put the bike on the front caddy.  I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and just brush it off since he had recently divorced his wife and she had gotten the car in the settlement. 

What I didn't notice from meeting him at the club is that he was a non stop talker and spit flew out of his mouth everytime he opened it.  GROSS!  Again, since I'm such a nice person, I let him continue to speak.  He then offered to take me out to eat.  I didn't want to think he would be able to come back, so I asked him about his bike.  He advised that I put it in my trunk and go to the restaurant.  Quickly, I thought to myself, if I don't do this then I will have to see him again.  We went to the local ale house to have a quick bite.

On the way back to his house, a car next to us started signaling us to open the window.  I didn't think anything of it until they started laughing.  They were making fun of me for driving a grown man with a bicycle. 

My faithful roommate called me on the way back to his house and gave me a way out.  I told him that my sister got to my apartment and I had to go back immediately, it was an emergency.  I dropped him off and he asked, "I'm never going to see you again, am I?"  I lied and told him I would give him a call. 

Needless to say, he did not get a goodnight kiss and I never saw him again.