Is there such thing as "The One"?

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been thinking about "The One", whether this person exists.  Not necessarily for my own selfish need but whether that idea is implanted in our head by Hollywood and whether it was plausible to find this person in a sea of 3-5 billion people worldwide. After questioning a few people, even those in their early twenties, I have to agree that maybe it isn't necessarily "The One", that it is really someone who crosses your path on a certain day or time, I do happen to be a believer that everything happens for a reason.  This person who you might have crossed paths and made a connection might be someone who believes in your ideals and follows in a similar path, leading to a successful relationship.  I have told someone recently that this person you do find might not be perfect, but they are perfect for you in that time and place you are in your life.

After the butterflies in your stomach had subsided, then the real relationship begins.  Communication is the key.  I read in an article recently that when you do find this person that you want to spend a long time with you will have be able to speak openly to them about anything.  I think this is where most relationships fail.  There is this darkness that someone isn't willing to share with the other person in their relationship which can cause resentment or suspicion.  I have really made an effort to be very candid with my feelings because your partner is not... I repeat not a mind reader.  Men don't get hints.  As a matter of fact, men are very simple.  When they want something, they will go for it.  When they don't, they won't.  I know, ladies, this is a hard concept to understand but its true.  There's no underlying meaning, there's no secret, he's not thinking anything in depth (not to say a man isn't capable), I'm just saying, as women, we tend to overanalyze.  I am guilty of that, or else I wouldn't write a blog :-/  Remember, actions speak louder than words.

Anyhow, back at my point.  I am a hopeless romantic but I do realize that there might not be "The One".  I can think of 3 men I've dated that could have been someone I saw myself settle down with,unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards at the time.  When the time is right, that person who is perfect for me, will walk through some door and chemistry, time and communication will take its course.

The Millenia Man

Last night, a good friend of mine brought to my attention an article she found in Cosmo, "The Only Kind of Man Worth Marrying".  She started talking about how it explains the "50/50" man and how he supports the corporate woman. Growing up, I struggled with the idea of 'having it all'.  Could I really have a career and a family and my sanity?  As I have said before, I grew up in a slightly old fashioned Hispanic household where my mom was expected to take care of all that was domestic in the home.  As a matter of fact, my grandmother said that I would never find a husband if I didn't know how to iron.  In the article, it says that a woman can have it all if she doesn't have to do it all.  Blasphemy!  What a concept!

Apparently, the Millenia Male takes on some of the chores, helping out around the house with the kids and work, against traditional values.  They have become more accepting of those women who want careers themselves.  It is said to believe these values have shifted because the woman has made work a career and their parents struggled with the blurred lines of what was traditional.

I want to say, I completely embrace finding this Millenia male.  I have always told those that I've dated, that I wanted to be part of a team, that things should be 50/50.  To think, my idea of what my ideal relationship was not too far off from where the world was progressing.  The article does state to beware of those men who do say they are forward thinking by watching out for simple reactions to what you might do such as saying you might have to work late and they complain as to why you can't come home early and make dinner.  He should be supportive to your endeavors.

One piece of advice, if the person you are with makes you a better you, then stick with it.  But if they bring you down, kick them to the curb.  You are a beautiful and strong, no need to let a loser run your life.