Tag Archives : relationship

good relationship

10 Ways You Know You’re in a Good Relationship

As you all know I am a relationship know-it-all, I can look at any couple and tell you how long they will last. If you believe this statement, then you are a fool. I am no expert, but I have had my heart broken and stepped on like the doormat. But I learn from my mistakes I can tell some…

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happy relationship, wedding, wedding photo, blogger, dating blogger, ceviche, downtown orlando

No One Wants to Hear about a Happy Relationship

“No one wants to hear about a happy relationship.”  That’s the Comedian said after doing a bit on stage.  Before he told a joke, he would run it by me to ask whether it was okay.  I honestly didn’t mind.  I knew it was an exaggerated version of our reality.  Once, a woman pulled me to the side after he…

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A Commitphobe strikes again!

I am sincerely honored to get asked advice from someone who I normally speak to in my social circle.  Thank you so much for reading my blog! Here goes: Dear Val, I have fallen for a commitphobe guy which I dated for 2 months. He has been in relationships up to 5 years but only because of his children. Every…

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Father, graduation

“What if?” is a scary phrase

Recently, a close friend of mine lost his father.  It got me to thinking about my relationship with my father.  Naturally, the first thing I think is that life is fleeting.  People come and go, bad things happen, good things happen, you have great relationships, and wonderful memories.  Some of those moments lead us to hours of therapy that I’m…

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dating, relationships, the comedian

Commitaphobes vs Monogamers

A good friend of mine, “Los” (short for Carlos) and I have talked several times about commitephobes and monogamers.  Both of them exist in the dating world.  I admit, for a long time, I was a commitaphobe.  There was a point I was about to get married to someone and I wanted to run so far, he would never find…

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Business, meeting

You’re going to rue the day… You started my dream

I’ll be completely transparent, I was let go from my 9-5 job on Monday. Most people would think I would be distraught with thoughts going through my head like, “Oh, no! What am I going to do?” or “I can’t believe this horrible b**ch let me go. She’s going to rue the day she made that decision!” But no, that’s…

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next step, moving in, love

The Next Step

It has been 10 blissful months with the love of my life, the Comedian.  I might get a little sappy in this post but I promise I have a point.  We are taking that next big step, moving in together.  On Sunday, we picked up the keys to our apartment where the lease has both of our names.  I believe…

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Being in “Like”

Meeting someone you might really like and beginning the possible pursuit of a relationship is bittersweet.  I personally start to morph into a different person.  I’m not sure if I’m the only one but I start to look at my dating profiles less, I don’t text those lingering lovers as often or not even at all and I end up…

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What did I say?

You get more bees with honey than with vinegar

In the last couple of months, I have endured a bit of a experiment to restart dating on a free site (which name I will not disclose).  I have a friend of mine who believes he might have had success on this particular site but he literally dates everyone of the girls he has the slightest interest in and keeps a log of who he might see for a second time.  Anyhow, what I find interesting on this site is that it is full of insecure men who are trying to find Ms. Right Now.  I’ve heard it is full of crazy women with several kids from different fathers, stalkers, and other psychos.  I’m sure the reason they keep talking to me is because I might be the most normal they’ve spoken to in a while.

A few weeks ago, I started a conversation with someone who seemed interesting in the beginning.  While the conversation progressed, I found out he didn’t have a car.  I mentioned it was not a positive point and he immediately dismissed me as superficial.  Say what?!?!  He might have had several other experiences with other women, however, I didn’t say no.  After I reassured him that not having a car was not a deal breaker, we continued talking.  He then asked if I wanted to hang out with his friends and him on the Thursday of that week.  I have a few rules when it comes to online dating but I’ll post that in another blog.  I turned him down, besides it was a week night.  Then after he asked for my number, he sent a text 30 minutes later (which was my bedtime) and I told him I was going to pass out.  He, again, got defensive and said that I would probably never text him again.  Yuck!  Insecurity is such a huge turn off. 

I find it that insecure men need to be told that regardless of their situation, they are amazing.  They need to be “coddled”.  What I find interesting about the profiles is that you can tell what kind of person they are right off the bat.  If someone puts himself on a high horse, then dismisses any woman who has kids, no teeth, no education, and so on.  But what I’ve realized, the older I get, why miss out on an opportunity because someone might not have EVERYTHING you want?  I read in Patty Stanger’s How to become your own Matchmaker you need to establish a list of things you absolutely need.  They are 10 must haves then 5 non-negotiables.  Those non-negotiables are things which you will not move on, but everything else is something you can possibly make an exception on.  It is one thing to list the things you might want, but be positive.  You get more bees with honey than with vinegar, or at least that’s what they say.  

Funny, when I write these blogs sometimes, I think of a friend close to mine who swears I quote him but here I go, he say, “Being with someone depends on how much crazy your willing to deal with at the end of the day.” 

I will say this, I’ve been on this crazy site before and I literally just get tired of meeting people who are strange, insecure and/or I don’t have chemistry with, then I close the account.  I believe that time is coming pretty soon.  Plus football season is around the corner and who really has time to date then. I’ll wait for spring fever to kick back in.  🙂

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